"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Saturday, 2 December 2017

New book: The Stripper and the Yakuza

Keep updated! My new book is on the way!
Would you like to read it?


Bella's life is full of excitement, fun and travel as she's working as a free-lancer exotic dancer. Her big dream was always to travel to Japan and she said yes to her Russian friend's, Natalia's proposal, who offered help finding a place for her in a Japanese hostess club. Upon her arrival, Bella is full of hopes and excitements, but soon she discovers the world of the workaholic Japanese customers, their lack of speaking English and the games between clients and their obedient hostesses. By her nature she's always honest and straight forward, but in Japan this in not the required behaviour. Bella becomes more and more exhausted at work, bodily and mentally, she goes through a culture shock and feels rejected in the country of her dreams.
One day, Yoshihiro, a pleasant customer who speaks good English appears in the club. Bella immediately spots his yakuza tattoo and realises he's a gangster, but instead of being scared, she becomes curious.
Bella is independent, free, careless. A stripper. Yoshihiro is strong, dominant, loyal. A yakuza. Can their two different worlds meet and develop a life-long relation?

Monday, 11 September 2017

We, dancers, are naked therapist

Stripping is an expensive job emotionally, people with tempers find me often. Not only customers, but girls also if there is something bothers them. Sometimes I feel I'm doing a therapy session at work.
Because you are pure and such a good person, thank you for listening to me.” I hear often.

It's not only the hussle and the drunken customers make us drained but the mental games. The following story happened in Germany. The customer bought a huge bouquet of flowers to one of the girls in the club, but she left them in the changing room because she couldn't take them home. Actually she gave them to another dancer who took them home. Moral lesson: Don't post any present on Facebook if you didn't directly get them! She posted a photo posing with the flowers and the guy next day came back to the club and was complaining and arguing for hours about the flowers and how unfair was for the other girl to take them home. Useless to say, neither of the girls was working, he had no guts to tell them face to face.
I just heard pieces of his sentences as he was talking to the bar lady, but for me it was enough already. Literally he was in the club long hours complaining to everyone, including the management and other girls. 
I don't care if she sits with another customer, but she thinks they are in love with her but they are just shitting on her!”
He called all the customers assholes who are cheating on their wives just because they come to the club and pay for their favourite dancer. Anyway, he was a small, skinny guy with a high pitched voice and anger issues, kind of like he had a Napoleon syndrome.

To be touched with your feminine side doesn't mean to come to the club and complain about a girl, especially when she doesn't work that day. This man in the following four days constantly was giving headache to everyone complaining and crying out because the girl gave the flowers to her colleague. The thought, that maybe she has a reason why she couldn't take the flowers home didn't cross his mind. A lot of times we're like psychiatrists, listening to people's problems, over and over again, people pay us just to sit there and listen to them.
Please, don't confuse us with your therapist!

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

My thoughts on dick pics

Once in London I finished my shift and I was in a hurry to catch my night bus from Tottenham Court Road. I was at the bus stop when a young guy stepped in front of me holding his mobile close to my face.
Look!”
It was a picture of a – I suggest his – penis. It's okay to be proud of your precious male part, but why do you think I want to see it, especially in this way of presentation? Is this the only thing you can offer to a woman, does it make you a man?

I don't understand the male behaviour when they send a picture of their penis before sending a photo of their face. Lots of theories are out there, but I - as a simple woman - cannot understand that. I'm not talking about when the man is in a naughty mood with someone and the two are exchanging superheated messages and erotic fantasies. As a part of that I have sent pictures of myself and I will. I'm not a prude. And in this circumstance I find it natural to satisfy someone's curiosity how you look or send a picture what kind of effect you make on the other person's body in that very moment on the other end of the virtual world. In long distant relationships they are a different question, it's a reward to know that my partner is thinking about me even if he's miles away.
But these unwanted R-rated sexual photos from guys are the biggest turn off for women. If you’re a woman, have you ever received an unsolicited dick photo from a guy and thought, "What the hell was he thinking?" You're chatting with some guy online, you think it might progress to a date and then, suddenly there is a random picture of his penis with the meaning: I'm ready for you! Or if you don't answer to their messages, they will show you what you’re missing out in this way. It's surely not appropriate sexual behaviour or at least not when you want to get to know somebody.

I have to tell you dear Gents, those pictures are unwelcome. Most women appreciate a good body including the male part, but we are really turned on by the man's intellect, his gentleness and his strength. I'd like to know these qualities before he expresses himself sexually, not vice versa.
Something about this particular type of exhibitionism is really irresistible to some men. Of course, women are also curious, but when we ask for these kind of pictures or when we are happy to accept them, we are already turned on by the man's other male aspects like strength of character or intelligence. The female brain is wired in a totally different way than the male brain that's why men can be turned on easier by visually sexy effects. Dear men, for the women it works differently, please try to understand that! Actually most of us can be turned off by receiving this kind of treatment. I wouldn’t even want to know what these men think would be appropriate to send if we are in a relationship!

We live in an age of narcissism where many people believe that they are better than they really are, or sexier than they are. Some guys out there are really into themselves and their phalluses, and they assume that the woman will be, too, and she will send a sexy picture to them in return. They might think in that way: “I showed you mine, now you show me yours!” Some of them are insecure about their penises and silently they ask for approval, others are uncomfortable to properly express themselves with words that they want to have sex with a girl, so they send a picture of their penises instead. Others use it like a form of sexual harassment.

Women do not find pictures of penises to be aesthetically pleasing at all. We find the whole man we like pleasing, not only his manhood. Men fundamentally misunderstand how most women feel about these type of pictures. And they truly believe it works.


Thursday, 22 June 2017

Photoblog - Singapore, Palawan beach

Every time I travel I like to meet local people. Photo camera is a bonus :)


Photos by Christopher Tan







Tuesday, 20 June 2017

The way to a stripper's heart

"On my journey I have met lots of different men. Some were saints, others were sinners. If my Prince Charming hasn't come to me on this road, I decided to set out for him. Somewhere our paths will meet and I will recognise in him the man I was waiting for in my entire life, it doesn't matter what kind of disguise he wears to hide his true self."


I wrote in my book if I met the right guy, I would recognise him whatever mask he wears. By the time I finished the book, I met someone special at work. I met him in the period when my book was finished but hadn't been published yet.
How funny, I didn't want to approach him at the beginning. He was playing on the slotmachine and I didn't want to disturb him, but my boss poked me:
"Go to him, he's a good  customer!"
He called me and treated me as a Princess from the beginning. Can you imagine how much the other girls in the club hated me because of that?? (I wonder if he knew about what kind of book I was working on..) In that shitty club I was working, he made me feel special.
He was not perfect, but I'm not perfect either. We had some fights, specially when I was drunk at work and I was more passionate about everything than usual. But we found compromises in everything that brought problems to the table. Sometimes the situation was a bit overheated but a few days later we were just laughing on it.
When I changed clubs and needed to travel to another city, he offered me his help that he could take me there with his car and I accepted it with no fears. When one week later he visited me on that new place, I did something I've never ever done before: I paid his bill in the club because he didn't have enough cash. He didn't ask, I offered. I sneaked out from work to my room above the club and brought him the money. You see, I'm not your average stripper! Paying the customer's bill (5 bottles of expensive champagne) sounds pretty crazy, right? But I trusted him from the beginning and he paid back the last penny I gave him. 
Maybe he was not my Mr. Right, but he treated me in the right way as man never treated me before. It was not about the five star hotels, but I'm not gonna lie, I loved that luxury. It was about how he opened the door for me in those hotels and how he helped me with the luggage. Or when a drunk guy at work tried to convince me why I needed immediately to have sex with him, he saw the situation, got my hand without a word and escorted me to his table. In that move there was no possession, "this is my girl" or anything, just the well-known old chivalry. 
Lots of guys just dream about dating a stripper. Well, if they behave like most of our customers, no wonder why they don't have a chance. How to put it in the right way: you have 20 balls front of you, 19 red and only one blue. The blue one will get your attention, simply because it's different from the others.
I'm a stripper but also a woman. And just because I'm a stripper, I don't tolerate misbehaved guys, I would rather go for someone who knows how to treat a woman and make her feel special.


Saturday, 10 June 2017

The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine.

This lifestyle still holds so many secrets. Some people have no clue about it. Men see the pretty girl on stage doing some erotic moves and slowly taking her clothes off while they fantasize what they would do with her body in private. Dancing is the best aphrodisiac as the soft moves of the body helps to unblock the sexual energies. Men like to watch a woman dancing because they can keep an eye on her from a distance seeing her whole body as it moves with the rhythm of the music and makes her irresistibly desirable for them. I know exactly what effects I make with my performance. Men enjoy watching the dance while women are more judgemental towards us. This is totally fine. But I want to point out that we dancers are normal people just like anybody else. We also cry and share the same feelings. Sometimes we are desperate or confused, and sometimes we want to give up everything for a man we trust, just like those women who never worked in this night life. I've seen many movies about strippers life, being constantly drunk and taking drugs, being forced into prostitution. I must say I have never been forced to do anything I didn't want to do. Maybe I was young, naive or a little drunk when I stretched my boundaries, but I wouldn't consider myself deviant because of that. The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine. Until today I have no regrets about my choice. If I had a chance to change my life, probably I would do everything in the same way I did in the past. It's not only the easy money, not even the people I've met and the places I've seen, but all the life lessons I've learned during this period. They made me strong without losing myself. They opened my eyes but still kept me cautious at the same time. I've learned a lot about myself, but most importantly I've learned how to handle my limits and how to push my boundaries further.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Photoblog - Budapest dream

These photos are from last summer when I worked with a talented Hungarian photographer. I was very happy with the photos but sadly after he stopped taking pictures..

Photos by Laszlo Racz
hungarianportrait.com