Thursday, 16 June 2016
Tuesday, 19 January 2016
I have good news for you: my book is finished! The most exciting period is yet to come, to find a publisher or literary agent that I can establish a good relation with for my future plans. Difficult, but it's not impossible. If I could have reached the point where I'm standing now, there is nothing to stop me from achieving my goals.
I had amazing years of experience in night life working as an exotic dancer what made me who I am today and shaped my opinion about men and relationships. During my work I have realised lots of men don't know how to approach a dancer, this points to the fact that lots of men don't know how to approach a woman. The book is about how they shouldn't approach a dancer or a woman. I don't want to write an erotic novel, just to share certain situations and facts how men behave in clubs. The main idea was while the whole world is judgemental towards strippers, nobody really talks about those men who have resort to our service. I bared the social stigma for long enough. People judged me for who I am and what I do, this time I judge other people, first of all men who come to the clubs. Because these clubs will exist until men have the desire to come in, but nobody judges them for this pastime. I found lots of books written by sex workers, like The Girlfriend Experience by Rebecca Dakin, but not many strippers wrote books about their work. Maybe there are some books on the American market, but there they have a different style and system in clubs than we have in Europe. The books I've read about the stripping industry were more like social studies.
My book is basically a bunch of my stories from the blog about strip clubs but focusing on the behaviour of the average customers. I wrote it with the same openness and honesty as I write on my blog. The book is based on Prince Charming and fairy tales, because I haven't met lots of Prince Charming in those clubs, other characters of fairy tales, like the Big Bad Wolf or the childish Peter Pan more often.
Growing older I must say I haven't met my Prince Charming yet. Some good Prince Charming material yes, who had the potential but they needed to make the move towards it. Indeed I met lots of Prince Charmless. Just for fun, I put them and their stories into 12 categories. I don't want to give an impression that I was dating a lot but if we think about it, every introduction to a customer is like a date when I want to gain his attention and seduce him to get in the private, while he's offering me drinks.
My future plan is to work as a dating coach, I have finished the course this year and to write more books. I'm not thinking about writing self help books on dating as there are so many already on the market, but talking about real relationship issues in fiction. I already have further ideas for other books. Another privilege of me beside being smart, that I'm pretty. :) Seriously talking, I've done some modelling and I'm pretty comfortable front of the camera so I think photo materials could complete the image of a sexy writer as I'm planning to cooperate with more photographers in the future and create high quality photos.
My book has been over viewed by 2 of my friends, one is a photographer and writer himself but he has never been in a strip club in his entire life, the other friend knows every bits of this word and I know him from a club. For the result both of them opinion and support were useful for the final touch on the book. Here I'd like to thank them for their help and I'm thankful for those who don't loose hope in me.
I'm quite judgemental towards men, it's true. As one of my proof reader said the book is harsh and he thinks it can be successful, but he's happy that he's not the man who wants to impress me though.
Sunday, 20 December 2015
This time of the year it always seems I'm disappearing from the eyes of the world. Indeed it's kind of true. But don't worry, I'm okay. I left Germany and I spend this Christmas with my family. They are happy to see me and spend some time with me as I was a little unfaithful to them in the past 5 years and I didn't come home to celebrate Christmas with them. I was either working or just found an excuse to stay in London. This time is special and they feel honoured that I made time to home. Too bad for them, I'm planning to stay longer than they thought. :) Only kidding, every time I come home, I have my place here and I always welcome.
And I'm restless because I'm working on the book which I'd like to finish until end of January. So that's why I remain a little more quiet here.
This is an exciting time of the year for me. Family, Christmas, new year and a new start..
Wish me good luck!
I'm wishing you all a peaceful Christmas and holiday season and I hope all your wishes come true in the New year!
Saturday, 28 November 2015
I'm always glad to organise some photoshoot during my working contract with the clubs so I can work with photographers from all over the world.
Here is one photo from my latest photoshoot in Germany. I'm very pleased with the result, the photographer is a genius!
Here is one photo from my latest photoshoot in Germany. I'm very pleased with the result, the photographer is a genius!
Friday, 20 November 2015
Here comes another confession from me. I don't consider myself as bisexual although at work customers often like to have fun with two or more girls that like each other also in a sexual way. And it's always easier for the girls too to sit with one customer as they can get rid of the drinks easier not to mention easier to keep him (and his hands) under control. So of course when a client asks me if I like girls, I would answer “Yes, can I introduce my friend to you?” In that case I'm in the game, light touching and kissing makes the moment more sexy and playful.
In private life my curious nature has been already satisfied, so I no longer look for these temptations. However, it seems they still find me! But it's totally different when I sense an honest interest from one of my colleagues. I'm not getting easily embarrassed when it comes to flirt with men but when a girl is flirting with me it has a different flavour. Honestly, this still can embarrass me.
There was one girl in Belgium, when she made her show on stage, she often tried to keep eye contact with me as she was making the show only for me. That flirtatious smile, winks and so on, you know. When she got drunk her behaviour was more intense and more obvious. Even my friend, Giselle noticed it once and she told me “It seems I need to protect you from her!” True, she was a bit of an aggressive type, not my taste though.
Other time happened when I was in Cape Town. There is a rooftop sunbathing area for the dancers and with Giselle we enjoyed spending the afternoons there as it was our escape from Europe's winter. Then I noticed that one of the girl from the club always appeared a few minutes after I arrived. She tried to talk to me but I was with Giselle – my bodyguard – and I preferred talking to her as we speak the same language. But the girl never tried to make a conversation with Giselle, only with me. Or if yes, if was about me, like “Where is Lindsay today? Doesn't she come to the pool?” Giselle made a fun out of it, but I told her she was exaggerating it, the girl was just friendly (maybe lonely and she wanted to talk to someone, I thought.) But once I was having a pizza in the living room, it was more than enough for me and I don't mind to share my food with the people around, so I asked her if she would like to have a bite. We were talking for a while about the club life in general, the pizza was gone and she suddenly offered me a bottle of wine and I was invited into her room. Yapp, Giselle was right! I rejected the offer although she was very pretty and such a sweet person, I had no interest in her in that way.
My latest admire is also one of my colleague. You know it's nothing more flattering for a woman than another woman's honest compliments and desire to get to know her better which goes beyond sympathy and friendliness. I heard from lots of men that “You're gorgeous, you have a beautiful body, you're beautiful, blah blah” But when this girl told me “Lindsay, your body is just perfect!” with sincerity and a genuine smile, it made me blushing. That night she had her regular customer and somehow she managed that I got invited to the table. We had bottles after bottles, the champagne was flowing and the air got more and more intense between us. At one point I realised the roles were changed at the table and I got entertained by my colleague instead of the customer. He sat between us and the girl bent over him to reach out my hand and caress my tights. “I never touched such a smooth skin!” The guy just laid back and enjoyed the situation – and paid for our drinks. That night she was clearly trying to seduce me.
When we finished the shift, I went to the back door to leave the club. She came after me to say good night and she kissed me on the lips. A sweet, gentle goodnight kiss. Nothing more as I didn't give her green signal to go further. Although nothing happened between us, the situation made me smile. She's like a doll. Really. A beautiful woman with a kind heart. It's actually a very satisfying feeling to know if I change my interest into women, I could have such a beautiful lover that most of the guys just dream about.
Friday, 30 October 2015
Just a quick update because I didn't write here lately:
The club where I work now, it reminds me of the first club I worked. A bit quiet but nice and relaxing. I like everything about it. The accommodation is just super, I have my own room with my own bathroom and kitchenette. I don't need to share it with other dancers. And I was shocked upon arrival when I saw the boss cleaning up the room for me, usually they just leave it as the previous girl left it, and I have to clean before I move in. Those girls who travel for work know it's very rare in this business. Dancers apartments are usually dirty and overcrowded. Here if I want to run around naked all day, I can do it. I'm by myself. (No, it's not boring! That's my well desired peacefulness!)
I like working with German guys. They are polite and easygoing, they know if they come to the club, it costs them some money. Not all buy drinks or dances, but at least they buy dollars tipping the dancers. Just a very few think they are in a cinema and they can just watch without paying. Here is no stage show all night, if they don't pay, we don't dance. Perfect! I like this house rule, it's just a waste of energy dancing for guys if they don't pay. It makes you tired for nothing. Here I don't feel tired, since I'm here (end of September) I only took one day off. The town is small but great, lots of parks around if I feel unmotivated or just need a good walk.
And I also have a good relationship with the people in the club. Funny, those who can speak English here, I don't want to talk to them, and those I like speak only German or very little English. It's just putting me to learn more German, which is great! I already regretted the time I spent in other countries without learning the language, here I have a bit more chance to do so. I also think about going back to school, so I dusted my old psychology books and brought them with me. It keeps me occupied these days. When the club is not busy, I'm sitting in the corner wearing lingerie and heavy make-up, and reading the Introduction to social psychology book or German grammar. Funny though, but you know by now I'm not your average stripper.
So for all these reasons above, I feel I'm on the perfect place right now. I think my travels stop here, I will come back to this club only. No more reason for me searching another clubs.
I'm happy where I am now.
Monday, 5 October 2015
I think there is nobody on this planet who doesn't know who is Mr. Grey and his fifty shades. Or what does it mean being Mr. Grey. In my recent club in Germany it was a quiet night, not so many customers. This guy came in and sat in the booth in the corner. He was wearing a blue jumper so actually I should call him Mr. Blue. I went over to say hello but he was not interested. I would say he was a bit arrogant and distant so I left him after 5 minutes talking. He was just an average looking guy but he mentioned something that he's special. (Oh yeah, everybody here thinks he's special!) Then I sat with another customer in the next booth, but I felt he's watching me. It kind of made me angry. If you doesn't want my company and pay me, stop staring!
My customer left and I sat alone while the other girls were working. Suddenly this guy came to my table and sat down next to me.
“Don't you remember me? I was here on Tuesday!”
I started to collect all the missing moments from Tuesday but I was a little bit tipsy so I couldn't remember him at all. For sure he was not the one who made me drunk. I would remember if he spent money on me, otherwise how you can expect that a dancer will remember all the guys wondering around in the club? But the situation was embarrassing.. maybe I told him something not so nice and now I don't remember?
“Do you want a piccolo (the small bottle of champagne)?”
And the waitress girl brought a cane – it was hidden behind the bar for naughty customers – with my drink.
“Now I remember you!”
He was sitting with another girl and they spanked each other with the cane. He bent over the bar and the girl spanked him and then they changed and he got spanked. It looked they had fun though.
“It was not really clear for me if you are the dom or the sub?”
“I like both.”
I have to admit I like to talk about fetish. I want to understand how someone can become a fetishist? I mean HOW? And why? It's one big mistery for me. Often guys in clubs asked me to dominate them but in real life I wouldn't play this game. Teasing and pleasing yes, but not the hardcore fetish games. Often guys ask me to spank them hard or beat them with their belt, or put the belt around their neck and lead them around the club. They also like to be humiliated while other guys are watching. But they pay me to do that. So we shared our experience and the drink came to the table one after another.
“Do you like to be spanked?”
“I don't know, I never tried.”
It's strange, before nobody wanted to dominate me. A little spank in a kinky way during private dance was acceptable but nobody asked me in real. Since I'm learning to be more feminine, it seems it happens more often..
So I let him spank me with the cane twice. The first one was very mild. I was more curious how much it can hurt and what reaction my body makes. It was nothing. He spanked me second time in real. Auch! My body can deal with pain, I felt it but it was still okay. (It was still nothing compare to the pain I bear in my heart these days.)
But during discovering my limits, I forgot a small thing: that I have very sensitive skin. After 2 days the bruises on my bum still look very bad and they are in every colour not only grey. Seriously, I think I can forget G-string for the following week. If someone sees it, he might think I have a very abusive boyfriend at home!