"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Why are men so coward these days?

(Some big Egos for sure would love to burn me at the stake after reading this article!)

Yesterday night I had an interesting conversation with one of my customers. We started to talk about relationships generally and he said his opinion is that we live in a women's world. The guy is a master in 3 different kind of martial arts, not the stereotype of a mommy's boy, so I was surprised when I heard that from a strong alfa-male type of guy. Such a convenience, earlier I was reading an article about that, when the writer – a man – had the same opinion.
And dear Gentlemen, I share the same thoughts. The women are braver and more open these days and more capable to take the consequences for their own acts, for their own feelings. The men look strong and brave, but if you scratch their big Egos, you realise under the surface how emotionally instable they are. Immature. Full of doubts and despairs. (Come on, you can throw those stones, but sorry if the shoe fits...) I give you examples. My ex after 2 years relationship just disappeared. Not giving any explanation, not answering my emails, my questions, just totally cut me off. I still don't know exactly why. Or the guy I was seeing lately after we had an argument, just deleted me from Facebook instead of finding solution for the problem. That was his problem solving method. (Of course, later he sent me a friend request again, but I don't play this game. Once you deleted me, it's going to stay like that. Friend and unfriend me and friend request again.. so childish! Oh, and he is in his fourties!) And I can bring you tonnes of example from my life. Even a customer. “I will have a dance with you later. I just need to go to the toilet first.” He never came back. And the list is endless.. The other girl who sat at the table was nodding her head and also brought up some examples from her life.
The question is there dear Gents: why are you not able to tell us the truth? Why is it easier to sneak out than face the problems? You have a straight opinion but you are afraid to say.. One guy told me when he and his partner are having an argument, it's always good to wait until the storm is gone. But when is no storm? When the situation is simple and not emotions are involved? Why are you not able to say out loud in a strip club that “Sorry, you're pretty but I prefer tall (short, blonde, brunette girls with big boobies, etc. etc.)” or “I want to take your friend for a dance. Is that OK?” Of course, it's OK! I would even say thank you being honest and not wasting my time. (Forget about those girls who get sore and call you an idiot because they are also immature.)
And there is one thing you definitely have to think about: how you want me to respect you after I figured out you're a coward? You're afraid of making decisions in your private life or not able to take the consequences for you actions? You're always pointing the other but never say “Sorry, I made a mistake?” You can not face the problems and you can't act like a grown up man? When you're just being cold and keep distance instead of saying “Honey, it ain't gonna work for us.”? Lots of guys can not be upfront.
I'm not perfect either. I have my own mistakes (a full list of them!) But I never put my head into the sand when it comes to difficulties and I always keep my promises. And I want the same in return. Someone told me I'm a man-hater. No, I'm not. I make money out of them, how can I hate them? :) End of the day they pay my rent, my bills, my travels. I don't hate them. I just don't always understand them. I'm also aware of that there are guys who don't fall into this category. Luckily. But I meet them rarely. And don't tell me those guys just want to be polite! You still can reject someone on a polite way.. and you gain some respect in return. That point we also agreed with my customer but he couln't give me answers. I took him for a dance instead..

Dear Gentlemen, the question is there. If you feel offended or you can answer my question, please don't hesitate to comment!
I would be happy to hear different opinion.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

I was working in Skegness on the weekend

I'm still keeping my words that I don't really want to work in London, and I thought this time I give a chance to the British countryside instead of the busy capital. Now to be honest I feel a little bit tired to travel again so far. So I had a little conversation with myself to stay in England and try out some new clubs here. One of the British girls in Iceland recommended this club to me, then I contacted the owner, he was nice and extremely helpful so I thought I have nothing to loose. I've taken bigger risk in my life to travel to other continents for work and I didn't have any personal contact with any of the staff members from that club, only the agency. Agencies takes percentage after you from the club, they of course want you to go there and they only tell you the nice things. To travel circa 200 km from London to try a club is really nothing to me. Plus I thought Skegness as a holiday place can be busy for the long weekend.
Afterall I'm not surprised that things are not going to be smooth. The club is open only 3 days on the weekends, in theory it sounds perfect to me to work there and weekdays I'm back in London and I have plenty of time on my hands to finish other stuffs I have to. But this bank holiday weekend was extremely boring and slow in Skegness! When I worked in the hostess club in London, the bank holiday weekends were always quiet because people travel to the countryside.. but on the countryside didn't seem to be crowded either! Anybody knows where are the people then???
They provide accommodation but the place is not 5 stars. In my room there is no window and it cost me £10 per day. Bloody hell! When I write here I feel like a poor French realist writing in a dark mansard room with candle light and his only companions are the pigeons on the roof :) Luckily there is a door to the rooftop and when it's sunny I can leave that door open. I don't think I will spend much time there though. Although when I worked in Canada, the accommodation was similar. Above the club there were big double rooms originally, but they divided them into 2 single rooms, obviously the windows were attached to one of them. In the inside rooms were no windows too and I stayed in one of them (for 3 months!) Can you imagine how much time I spent indoor?
And about the people in Skegness: they are – let's say – simple. (Not in a bad way.) If they don't want to pay you, they tell you straight. Sometimes it's a much more appreciated way than playing a game or promising “I'll have a dance with you later.” You know how many times I've heard that sentence? And of course in this term “later” means “never”. Actually I'm happy not to play those mind games with them. And these guys are a little bit na├»ve too. They have difficulties to understand why I don't want to work in London. They immediately start to laugh when I say I came all the way from London to Skegness to work in a strip club. “Oh, there is much more money in London!” I'm a bit of tired to explain it again and again why not.
But after all these actually I'm considering to work in London.. At least one day to try. I said so many times that I don't want to work in London clubs because too much competition and bitchiness between the girls, but never experienced myself. It's like how can I write about something I don't have personal experience about? But I need to get my guts up before I go to the cage of the lions.

Until I will be chillin' in Skegness in my windowless room. :)

Monday, 18 August 2014

My advice to newbies

If you're thinking about to quit your boring office job and making money dance around the world, here are some useful advice from me:

1. Choose the club or the agency that you want to work with very carefully. Collect as much infos as you can before you start. If the club is close to your area, go there with friends before you would apply and look around. Is this the environment you really want to work in? You free to talk to the girls about their work, how they like the club etc. but don't tell them you also want to work there. From that moment you would be a rival girl for some and they might lie to you or don't give you the correct answer. About agencies, always ask other girls if they would recommend them or not. I have a few different agencies I work with, but also some very bad experience. If you go abroad, always ask for the address and the contact number of the manager or the guy who picks up up at the airport/station. Make sure someone is waiting for you. It's not much fun waiting on the street in the rain for someone to open the door of the apartment, because the agent is busy and doesn't pick up the phone or answer to your messages.

2. If you are really enthusiast, you can go to a dance class before you start the job. It's a great fun after all and you can hear useful infos. Taking some pole dance lessons is giving you confidence when you are first time on stage. Or it's possible almost in every club to ask the other girls to show you some moves when there is no customer or before opening. But at first never try to copy the other girls and never ever try any difficult tricks on the pole! It can be dangerous, specially if you have had a few drinks before. Dangerous, and more ridiculous than sexy. Just feel free and enjoy just like you would dance in a club with your friends and smile! Nothing more boring on stage as a beautiful woman doing amazing tricks on the pole with perfect body control without a single smile.. Ah, and don't look yourself in the mirrors! Do it when you practice, it's a big help to correct your moves, but forget about it when you perform. Keep the eye contact with the customers instead! They always like the new girls anyway because you are fresh and you don't have the routine.

3. Don't be so impressed by money after your first night. I mean if you had a good night for start, congratulations! But don't run next day to the shopping centre and spend it all. If you need to invest some clothes or shoes, do it later. You never know how is going to be the next night or next week. This job is like ups and downs, so make sure you don't run out of money.

4. Don't tell all your friends and relatives that you are intend to make money by dancing naked. People that never been involved in this kind of work, they don't understand and you don't even know yourself if you will like it or not. If it's only a trial for you, better to keep it in secret. You don't know how your friends would react and you don't need some unkind comments. When you tell your friends, be ready you might loose some of them that can not accept your new lifestyle.

5. Don't invest expensive dancer clothes and shoes. You always can buy them later and check the price before you purchase anything online because on another website you might find the same item on half price. Some shops where you can get dancer clothes are relatively expensive too. I would recommend to buy sexy corsets and stocking for first time, rather than extra mini neon colour dancer dress.

And just be yourself! Be witty, flirty, chatty, smart, bubbly, kind, optimistic and smiley! Follow the rules what the manager tells you and let the girls help you. Not every dancer has an evil spirit, most of the girls are very helpful because they know and understand what you're going through. Their first day was the same than yours. They also had lots of questions, lots of self-doubts, lots of compromises. So take a deep breath and jump into this exciting life! The spotlights are waiting for you!

Good luck!

Friday, 15 August 2014

In the Land of the Vikings 2.

Well, my staying in Iceland gets to the end. Somehow I'm always sad when I'm leaving this country. I've never felt so close to Mother Nature like here.. But one eye is crying and the other one is happy.
Here was a good experience about worship. Unbelievable for me that some girls can make any nice club a nightmare. When I arrived, some girls were waiting for customers on the top of the stairs. When they came up, they were ready to jump on them. Like piranhas! My jaw was dropped. I knew in some club girls like that but I never wanted to work there. One of the reason why I don't want to work any club in London (girls work in the same style because they pay for the club to work there and they want to make sure they make money).. First week I was just sitting and watching the show. And I was just smiling when the one who jumps first on the customer started to complain how the other girls catch the guys before her! Drama, drama..
I never worked in such an aggressive style! (Never needed.) Even some girls had customers but when a new guy arrived they were ready.. steady.. go! In other clubs the system is girls have to wait until the guy gets his drink at least. It's a much more polite way. I always let the guy relax before I go over. I wait until he takes a seat and order his drink. If I have eye contact with him and he smiles back, I'm 100% sure about my success. So for me this “jumping” style never works. I was surprised. I even made a joke with my boss that if I want to catch a customer I really need to go outside of the club to anticipate other girls?
2 more girls arrived. These 2 are an updated version of the others. They are waiting customers in the bar downstairs (the club is 2nd floor, but same owner and we are allowed to go there for coffee and stay there a little while) They are talking to guys and try to bring them upstairs. But for me the “Hello babe, do you want to come upstairs with me and have some private time?” sounds very low class to me. Not to mention that sometimes guys didn't even realise that upstairs is a champagne club. And the girls can't be upset when the guy ask straight away about sex. By the way, in Iceland it has a funny way thanks for the feminists. Law always protects the woman. Me as a woman can sell sex. It's legal. To buy it for guys it's illegal and they can have problems. And tourist don't know much about..
This week 2 more girls came. The competition didn't get any better. Actually now some girls are literally waiting for customers outside the front door and it just happened last weekend that some went for promotion drunk and wearing only a bra top on the streets. (Now probably I need to go till the airport if I want some customers for myself..) :) Definitely low class. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying in the club where a bottle of Crystal is 3000 euros(!) this behaviour is cheap. And as I said before we work with our own personalities. My persona is more a foxy lady, calm and classy and I can not (I can but don't want) be vulgar just because the others are. If this behaviour not acceptable for me, I'm not going to put another mask on and start to be more aggressive. For a guy? For a customer? (I always say there will be only one man in this World that I would fight for: my son if I have one.)

Oh dear, so many other clubs in this planet...!

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

In the Land of the Vikings

I chose this title because here actually funny but I'm experiencing the feminist side of Iceland. At least in the club.. I've heard before that the feminist movements are strong here and Iceland has had the first openly lesbian prime minister.
So I'm not surprised when local customers (we have lots of tourist but they don't ask such a questions) ask me if I'm forced to do this job. It seems here in this country even harder to believe that a girl like me choose a job like dancing naked and we have nothing to do with prostitution or human trafficing. Actually in Iceland nudity is not allowed by law inside the club, we don't have stage for topless shows and during the private dance I have to keep all my clothes on. It's more of a champagne club where you buy champagne for the girls and pay for their time spent with you. But it seems the government brainwashed the people here and in the public opinion every club is a whorehouse. That was the reason why police investigated our club in the past but found nothing. (I've heard that was quite a bad reputation for them and it has been in newspapers that they spent thousands Euros from the taxpayer's money buying champagne and private time for the girls just to find a single evidence.) But some other clubs have been closed down. Here you can read more about this and the topic is currently still on:

In fact at work I'm not forced to do anything or even this is the most relaxed work I've ever done since I dance. (I mean from the employer's side because girls can give me a bit of a hard time.) But basically I can do whatever I want. I worked in clubs before where I went to the changing room to eat 1(!) biscuit and the manager followed me screaming that “what the hell are you doing here? Get back to work!” Can you imagine when you work with champagne and you need to drink, they make such a big deal about it just because you're hungry?! Obviously I will never go back to that club.. Here I'm allowed to eat whenever I'm hungry or I can leave the club to buy some food and I can just go behind the bar to make my own drinks. Even Red Bull for free! In other clubs almost impossible to have Red Bull for the dancers because it's sooooo expensive (?) Here we have coffees, fruits and I can take anything I need. I'm saying that because I find it funny that in the country where almost every people think I'm a slave of the club, I experience the best treatment since I work as a dancer. No one telling me “go to the customer” or “get your ass up from the chair” Nobody checking me up where I go or what I do in my spare time, and we have a driver to take us to work and to home after work for our own safety. They even take us out for dinner sometimes. So it's really not the kind of treatment or work environment that people think we get from our boss. This explains why girls stay here longer even in quiet times when the money is not so great. And I'm smiling when I talk to someone who thinks I'm forced to be here. I almost can picture they think we all locked in the basement and forced to go to work :)

I just wish more Icelanders would read this post, and maybe it could change their minds..