"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Thursday, 25 December 2014

Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight..

Been an awful good girl, Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight..

As I don't work during the holiday season this year – I go to Italy only after Christmas – I have not much stories to tell. So I decided to share my best Christmas memories ever.
Me and Giselle arrived to Cape Town in October. We planned to come back before Christmas to spend it with our family, but during the work there we changed our minds – and our tickets – and we decided to spend the Christmas together in the sunnier hemisphere. The work in Cape Town was a bit complicated, let's say very hectic financially. The club charged us almost 300€ per week for the accommodation and the house fee. The income was unsure. Sometimes I made this 300€ a night, and I had no more headache the rest of the week, but there were weeks when I made only this amount plus a little more to pay for my food. So after 2 months staying we had not much money in the pocket, and everyone was talking about the biggest mining conference in early February when the girls make thousands of African Rand, I thought I have nothing to loose if I stay longer. And we haven't done much of our African adventures as we planned before, without that it would have been a serious pain in my heart to leave Africa. 
Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed..

So we were ready for our Christmas. In the club every girl needed to do a special fantasy show once a week. As we were new with some others without the full choreography of our fantasy shows, we were chosen to do the Christmas show every night for one week on the Santa Baby song by Eartha Kitt. There were 10 girls, they split us into 2 groups, A and B, one night the group A made the show, second night the group B. The choreography was simple, but we had so much fun to learn it! There was one Colombian girl in our group, she didn't speak English well, all she could say was “Me? No!” Whatever introduction she got from the choreographer, that was her answer too. Sometimes with Giselle we were just secretly looked at each other and winked. Tried not to burn out in loud laughing. The other was a black girl who constantly gave us reason to smile. She was simply dumb (nothing to do with her skin colour, but she was totally blank in her head) She spoke English but against that, when everybody had to turn left, she turned right, when we needed to sit down, she stood up. We were sure about the success of the show! ;)

Santa cutie, and fill my stockings with a duplex,
and checks. Sign your “X” on the line..

Luckily the club was closed for Christmas. On Boxing Day we packed our swimming suits and beach towels and we went to Camps Bay where we decided to spend the whole day. As Camps Bay has such a white sandy beach, we made a joke that we managed to have a white Christmas, but not in an ordinary way. I must say that was one of my most relaxed holiday season for me! No crazy Christmas shopping, no crowded shopping centres, no traffic jam. I bought a tiny little tree and some African hand made decoration so we even had our own decorated Christmas tree with us. A perfect sunny day on the beach in December.

Santa baby, I wanna yacht, and really that's not a lot..

Later we had a dinner in a local restaurant. The food was nice but the dessert we ordered was horrible! Again one more reason to laugh.. It looked strange and tasted even stranger, but nothing could turn that day into a bad one, so we were just laughing that a simple vanilla-chocolate icecream combo would have been a much better choice. Never mind! We were in South Africa, on the beach, watching the sunset at Christmas, a few days without work and a bottle of wine.. what else we could wish more?

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring..

I'm wishing you a very merry Christmas and
a happy New Year!

Monday, 22 December 2014

Photoblog - sharing is caring!

Men are so visual creatures and keep asking me to post more photos here. So I don't want to be greedy and keep all the model photos for myself.. :)

As one of the photographer commented "You are a piece of art work."

Hope you enjoy!

With love,

Photo taken by Tim Reder

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Laura's research into lapdance experienses 1.

I met a girl in Paris who told me she's studying on university and how she entered the whole glittery pinky stripper world was that she went interviewing a few dancers in a local club to write an essay and she started to like the atmoshere and decided to work in clubs afterwards. See, not every girl's doing it for money or because they have been forced to do so, but some also realise it's such a good job to learn about our own sexuality and express ourselves. So after talking to her I got an email from a lovely girl – let's call her Laura - who asked my help to write her dissertation. I am doing research for my dissertation, which is looking into the ways in which lap-dancing is empowering for women, but I also want to learn about the difficult parts of the industry! Basically I just want to give an honest story. I have never done lap-dancing before so I cannot write from my own experiences, and I came across your blog and it is so interesting! You seem very honest about your work and you seem to have travelled and worked in many countries.” I thought such a brave girl to write about this subject and I'm happy to help if it doesn't cost money so I said yes to her. And some of her questions are so intelligent and worth to write a whole post as an answer.

How did you feel when a customer breaks the rules and touches your intimate area when giving them a naked lap dance? “

When I read this question the stories started to come to my mind. But I'm telling you the best one. I was working in Toronto, Canada where the club had a totally unique system. The customers chose the girls from a photoalbum with the help of the bookers. Those guys were walking around with a huge album in their hands any anybody wanted to have a lapdance, they suggested the girl who suit the best for them. We girls, were not allowed to talk to customers, it was a sitting area for us or we could stay in the changing room (even for a quick nap). So because of that there was no previous agreement what I do in private and what I don't. It was a whole forum on an internet site about which girl is a giver in the club and it was so popular amongst the customers. If I find it, I will link it here because it was so funny and entertaining to read. So basically the guy who booked me for a dance, was never so sure what he can get from me.

Once I got booked by a young guy for 30 mins. He was around 20. We went down to the private area, I seated him and started to dance. Without asking or saying anything, he started to unbutton his jeans. I didn't say anything but gave him a bad look. He didn't get the signal – or didn't want to understand – and his hand slid down inside his trousers. I don't let the customers jerk themselves during my dance so I told him to stop. He said OK. And then I changed my position, I danced a bit facing the wall and when I turned back his willy was out and it was a huge grin on his face.

I told you not to do it!” (Jesus, this half an hour dance will be difficult!)

OK, OK! I apologise.. but a little bit?”


But some really like testing the waters. I thought finally he got the message, I turned again to the wall. I bend over to take my panties off, when I saw him between my legs what he's doing. Of course, his trousers down on his hips and he was jerking. I really hate when I have to repeat myself again and again, and it seems this bloke was deaf or something not to hear what I was trying to say. I found a more effective way. I grabbed his beer from the small table where he put it, suddenly turned back and put it upside down into his trousers. The cold beer poured down on his erection and on his balls.

Now I hope you understand what I was saying to you!”

He immediately jumped from the sofa and called me on every name you can imagine. I gave him back his dance tokens and left.

Dear man, if the dancer says not to do it, it means NOT TO DO IT! Once I had to listen 30 mins lecture from my manager because my customer did the same when I danced showing my butt to him. My manager passed the curtains and she saw what's going on and interrupted the dance. I told her I'm wearing my eyes on the front and I can't see what he's doing behind my back but she thought I let him to do. Seriously I almost got fired just because the guy was not listening. Same with touching. In some clubs they are very strict about it and I can get in trouble if they see it on the security cameras. What? If there are security cameras??? Of course there are! Who would believe that there is no control what's going on in the VIP room? The clubs have to protect themselves if anything happen there..

But answering the question, it happened to me that the customer touched me in an inappropriate way – again I was showing my back to him and I did a sexy bend over. He thought it's funny if he touches me between my legs. As I felt his finger on my private area I turn back and suddenly gave him a huge slap on his face.

Never do it again!”

I'm so sorry.”

Get out!”

But I'm sorry. I won't do it again.”

Get the fuck out of here!!!”

I was cold as ice and he understood the fun is over and he left. After the security guy came to me asking why I finished the dance sooner. I told him what happened and he just shrug his shoulder. “Hm, OK.” Of course it was OK. It was no argument about paying back the dance or anything. Security can help to kick out an angry guy or step between the dancer and customer if it's necessary. But behind closed doors (or curtains) I'm in control. And I have to make sure that nothing happening there that can harm me. I remember working as a hostess. Once we had a beautiful girl who never worked in this field before. She got chosen by a “good” customer and the guy paid her champagne bottle after bottle. As it was her first night, she easily lost her limits. And the control. After she was crying in the toilette because the guy tried to finger her through her tights and panties and she felt violated. That was her first and last night.

That's MY body, I make the rules! I understand there are different clubs and in some clubs you can get more, I also understand that the temptation is big, but if the dancer says NO, it means NO. It's always better to ask than walking through the whole club with a wet pants and it looks you just peed yourself during the private dance.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Happy 1st Anniversary!

Yapp, that was exactly a year ago when I published my first post here..

I still remember that was my last day in Iceland and I was so disappointed that the club couldn't have been open. I was waiting and waiting but they didn't get the licence back so I decided to leave. I've had a chance to see a bit of Iceland's natural beauty so I didn't see the point stay any longer. Basically I was just wasting my time while I could arrange another contract somewhere else. The period before Christmas can be good, when the companies pays the bonuses and after Christmas party some guys go to a strip club for afterparty, I definitely wanted to work not like this year when I'm a bit more lazy. Very soon I booked myself to Luxembourg and I worked there during the holiday season. But before I left for Luxembourg, I started to write this blog.
So that night in Iceland. I was alone in a hotel room. I had a morning flight, the guy who took me to the airport picked me up early. I don't know because of the next day travel or because of all the problems that was circulating in my head, I had a very restless sleep. I was just twisting, turning in the bed, switch on the lights, tried to read, but when my eyes got tired switch it off but couldn't fall asleep. Finally I had a short but very deep sleep. I got up before my alarm clock on the phone started to beeping. And the first thing it came to my mind that I NEED TO WRITE A BOOK! It came suddenly out of nowhere.. I don't even remember if I was dreaming something about it. Then I went to the bathroom and the first word I saw it was PHOENIX (that was the brand name of the hairdryer) :) But this symbol has a very strong meaning in my Life. That's why I have a small phoenix tattoo on my lower back. Actually when I went to the tattoo salon, I had no idea what I want but I was sure I get a tattoo. That I don't leave the salon without being inked. I was checking the book of drawings when this symbol found me. When I saw it, I told the guy immediately I want this one and that's it. That was also a difficult time in my Life. But since then the symbol of the phoenix always reminds me of rebirth, that whatever goes bad in my Life, I have the power to start again from zero.. as I did so many times. I don't know if you believe in this signs or not. But I do. So after a few days of Internet research about how to write a blog, I had everything ready. I thought it's a good field to test my writing skills before I would jump into the deep sea of publishing. I didn't even think about the name, it just came to my mind without effort just like the whole idea of writing. As I explained it's HEARTBROKEN because underneath the shiny, glittery surface I'm just a weak woman who needs to be cherished and BROKENSTILETTOS because God knows during this work how many pair of shoes I destroyed.. Against the critics that put the focus on being heartbroken, I like it and I have no intention to change it.
And a few days later I was ready with the first post. That's how everything started here on my own little telling-all-my-secrets blog. And today, after a year I have more then 5000 pageviews and people from all around the world who support me with kind words. I was not expecting that. But messages like these caress and uplift my soul:

"It's honest, mature and above all else, ‘REAL’. Very refreshing"

"Had a quick look at your blog...really well written and a very interesting window into an unfamiliar world. It's really compelling. It's easy to make assumptions based on peoples professions and it's great fun to surprise people."

"I travel a lot and have been known to find myself in strip clubs from time to time but reading about it from the other side is enlightening! I hope I have never behaved like some that you mention!"

"The more I read the more intrigued I am!"

"I particularly drawn by your honesty and intelligence and that you come across as so totally genuine."

I never ever met these guys in person. They never see me dance or they were never flirting with me in a club. But they like what I represent here: a genuine, honest, free spirited woman. Might my plans about the book will fail – I will do everything not to – but for the appreciation I get throughout the blog, it's already worth to write.. Thank you ALL!

Saturday, 13 December 2014

For those who missed me.. :)

I didn't post in the past 2 weeks and started to get complains what's going on with me. Good news: I'm not vanished from the surface of the plane. Not yet. Bad news: my plans just don't go in the way they should do. I have some troubles around the flat I live in, like searching new flatmates and dealing with electricity companies. Before Christmas that was the last thing I wanted to do. I just planned a nice, relaxing time until Christmas focus on more writing and study but it's not going to happen. But no worries, I will sort everything out. I'm a clever girl ;)

I'm still in London. When I figured out that my circumstances have been changed, I wanted to find a job here. And I remember I promised to myself to try out some London lubs but it's a very difficult period. It used to be so good with company bonuses and Christmas parties, so no girl wants to miss it. All the clubs are full, there is no vacancy. And don't think it's just that easy to walk in to the club from the street and say “Hi, I want to work here.” No. I had 2 interviews. To both clubs I applied with filling up an online application form. From Windmill on Denmark Street they called me back. I arrived on time to the club on the afternoon, they hold auditions from 1pm-4pm. The manager asked me a few questions like on a normal job interview like why I think I would be good for their club and why did I quit from my previous job (meaning from other clubs) She was just rolling her eyes when I said I worked all over in Europe and sometimes overseas. Changing so many places and clubs was not so good point for her. And then she told me on Mondays they do the weekly rota for the dancers, if they need more girls, they will call me back for the second stage of the interview, when they want to see my dancing skills. It's held just before the opening hours and I have to be there with full make up, hair done and I need to perform a topless stageshow for a song. And after they would tell me if I fit in the frame or not. (I think so many of you would love to work for them doing the interviews and watching half naked girls dancing for free!) I'm still waiting for that phone call.. it means they are full, they have no capacity to hire more girls.

The other club was the Platinum Lace at Piccadilly. Auditions are held everyday at 7pm sharp. You can arrive at 6.30pm to prepare, change and do make-up. Please bring suitable ID with you to prove that you are able to work in the UK legally. If successful we are offering a £25 per shift house for 2 weeks on the basis that you work 5 shifts...You will be required to do a two song audition, the second song being topless wearing a LONG DRESS. You will be assessed on the following, hair & make-up, nails, general presentation, figure, personality and your stage show. It is important you have a good level of the English language, looks alone will not secure you work at Platinum Lace.” When I arrived, I hardly passed the security guy but he let me go in finally. The club was already open, I could hear the music at the entrance. The manager, a woman who didn't seem friendly at all arrived and without asking my name or where I am from, she just told me “Honey, I'm not doing your interview.” I was surprised. WTF?

I got the email this afternoon about the interview..”

Yes, but I have enough girls.” and she just turned and left me there standing with my jaw dropped. Why the hell they send me an email about the interview if there is no interview? Great! I love wasting my time.. Maybe I'm only a stripper but my time is also precious! I was pretty pissed off.

Now you can see why I don't want to work in this city. Not only the girls are aggressive but the management don't seem to be nicer either. So I went home and booked myself to work in Italy after Christmas for 2 weeks. They don't have house fee there and they even offer higher daily salary if I start before New Year's Eve. Perfect! And it's warmer there than here..

And the other thing I'm trying out – because meanwhile I have to pay my bills – is a webcam website. All new for me, but I don't think it would be more difficult then dealing with guys in clubs. From my point is perfect. I work from my cosy room whenever I have time, definitely a no touching service and I don't need to drink alcohol. And before you start to think webcam modeling is about putting sex toys in my ear or whatever hole you can imagine on my body, I have to tell it's mainly about chatting. With one of my first guys we were talking about baking Christmas cookies. Hell yeah, something definitely dirty about Christmas cookies! :)
If you're worry about me, the guy was absolute nice and normal and no pervert alert at all! And I'm not going to be dirtier on that site then I do during my private dances. The naughtiest thing I do on the site playing strip poker! So far I feel comfortable with.. And now I just realised where are the customers from the clubs who used to spend good money on girls. Plus because of the blog I'm getting so much messages, more than I felt I can handle. I started to spend hours front of my laptop answering emails, writing messages and chatting. So at least allow me to make some money out of this, please! Don't forget I'm a hungry Hungarian, I have to support myself with food! :)

If you fancy a chat with me there, you can follow the link below:

http://www.camcontacts.com/register.html?Ref=1407678 and you just need to enter my username xLindsayxx when you register to the field "how did you hear about us?"

Have a good weekend all!

Saturday, 29 November 2014

I am a hungry Hungarian

“Where are you from?”
“Are you hungry, hahaha?”
“No. But I'm quite thirsty. Are you going to buy me a drink?”
I heard this joke a lot so I developed my cheeky answer and it never fails. But sometimes it can be so annoying, specially when you hear it more than once in the same night. We, Hungarians are very bored of it, so it's time to forget about it. Deal? Although I'm fully aware of the situation back in my country and it's sad but Hungary is heading to be a hungry country indeed. (But no political comments here.)

“I'm from Hungary.”
“Really? I just ordered some sushi! Would you like some?”
”You know what? I'd love to give you 2 books in this very moment. One would be an English dictionary to know the difference between hungry and Hungary, and a European travel atlas. (And f*** your sushi!)”
This guy thought he's so funny, but I was not in a good mood to listening this joke again. We ended up arguing and he got very angry. Even wanted to call my manager because I was rude to him!

“I'm from Hungary.”
“Are you Hungarian? You're so white. I thought people in Hungary have dark skin like me!”
From a black guy in Toronto. Well, there are so many gypsies in Canada from Hungary, they are all there as refugees because they say Hungary doesn't want them. And usually they have darker skin. But apparently Canada made up the law and they send them back to Hungary because their lifestyle was not acceptable for Canadians. But it was funny that some people in Canada thought we are all the same.

“I'm from Hungary.”
“So do you have horses?”
Anybody can explain why I heard this question a few times? In Switzerland and also in Iceland.. What is the link between Hungary and horses? It was long time ago, when Hungarians were riding horseback across the Carpathian base and scared the hell out of Romans. But the question is like me asking an Icelander: “Are you from Iceland? Do you have a viking boat?”

“I'm from Hungary.”
“Do you know that originally Hungarians are from China?”
From a Chinese guy in Macau. Yes. Everything is made in China..

“Where are you from?”
“Where? Congo?”
From a Greek guy in Loutraki. I think he was the best. He tried to pick us up on a street and followed us asking questions when I was walking around with Giselle. I have no idea what he heard as my answer. Hungary and Congo have a slightly bit of different pronunciation, not to mention we both don't look exactly like Congolese women. But we still laughing on him. (No surprise, when I was on the train and asked if it goes to the airport, I ended up at the port. Airport and port are also almost the same.)

“I'm from Hungary.”
“No. Kiskunfélegyháza.”
What is basically not true but I'm laughing on the surprised faces. (I picked up a difficult one to pronounce it) Like no other city exists in Hungary expect Budapest. And Budapest, not Bucharest!

Some situations I feel ashamed, just like in Canada, according to so many gypsies there, I saw a paper on the front door of a shop “Don't steal!” written in Hungarian. I was not so proud but again, no political comments here. Lots of boss and club owners like to work with Hungarian girls because as they say we are more respectful and there is less drama. But I can say it generally, not only in the night life. (Of course, exceptions are everywhere.) 
So yes, I'm from Hungary. And I'm proud of it even I live in London now. And I always try to do my best to represent my country.

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Thank you for reading!

I feel this is a good time to say thank you to all reading my blog. When I started almost a year ago, I never thought it will attract so many people and I will get so many emails and questions. I'm honoured. (OK, I don't mention the guy who emailed me because he wanted to buy my panties..LOL) I'm not the best to keep contact and I have limited time to answer, but I try my best to answer to everyone.
I must say since I came back to London, I had to realise I have not much friends here. I travelled a lot, I have friends all over the world, but I spent very little time here in London in the last 4 years and my friendships became stale. The clubs I used to work here are sold, and the girls I worked with moved to other city or back to their home country. The people from the restaurant never knew where I went after I quit from there. Everyone knows I went to Greece on holiday and maybe the best way just let them think so. Not everyone needs to know I became a stripper. And since I started to write and talk about my purpose to write a book, I experience some envyness. Oh, woman can not digest if some other fellas have more ambition! And I don't want people in my social circle that turn as the wind blows. I'm trying to be honest and I don't want hypocritical so-called friends around me. I think it's time for some radical changes and just cut people off. I just read it somewhere “cutting the negative people out of your life doesn't mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.” Maybe I should respect myself a little more and enjoying meeting up with new friends.
So this time all those support and encouraging words I got from you, really means a lot to me. I trust myself but even a stripper can have bad days and needs some supporting people around her. Be honest I felt tired and a little burned out in the last months, that's why I decided to stay away from clubs for a while. Not to mention the alcohol that my system needs to get rid of and do some serious detox before we enter the holiday season. And I can start the New Year fresh and ready for more stripper experience.

So all I can say is a big Thank You for reading! And all I can promise is keep up writing and sharing my life stories with you..

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Club overview - Remich, Luxembourg

I must say that was my shortest contract with a club ever. I booked my place through an agency and the conditions sounded good. They offered 70€ fix salary per day plus 20% drink commission plus the dances and free accommodation. Not bad at all. I arrived form France on the train quite late at night. A guy were waiting for me outside the train station. He looked OK for first sight (if I smell danger, I just don't sit in his car), he told me the club is outside Luxembourg city so we need to take a short drive. It was nothing unusual or made me suspicious. They helped me with the luggage in the apartment (it was heavy and stupid me put the locker keys inside so I needed someone strong to cut the metal locker) and then they introduced me to the boss. He took me into the kitchen of the club and explained all the basic rules that I knew from the agency anyway, but it's always good when they repeat everything in person. He told me he's expecting 2 more girls from my country so I won't be alone. I went back to the apartment to relax. The place was nice, big and clean kitchen, bathroom. The room for the girls was quite big too but a bit crowded. If I remember well there were beds for 7-8 girls in the same room, and even the room was big it's not healthy as everyone has a different daily routine. But for a short term I can deal with it.
Later the other 2 girls arrived and they were super nice! I was happy to meet them. So we got ready for work together (the others were already working) and it was lots of talk about our previous experiences in different clubs. The problems started later. For them the boss didn't say anything, just when we started our shift and we were together he came to us asking our passports. He said he will give them back the next day. But one of the girl insisted, she said to him she would only give the copy of her passport. (In my experience it's not unusual when they take the passport for one day, in Europe I never been worried about it so much as I always have my ID with me and in any case of trouble I can travel with it within the EU.) But I didn't like the reaction of the boss, that was the first warning sign. Bosses don't like the girl who knows her rights and not afraid to open her mouth. He told her if she doesn't want to give him her passport, she can leave the club in that very moment (it was about 11pm and we were outside of the city, no public transport in these hours.) So what other chances we had? We gave him our passports but with not a good feeling and we started to work. I explained all the rules to the girls that the boss told me earlier. Specially the “no sex in the champagne room!” It was a quiet night, we were sitting on the sofa talking and watching the other girls – who had regulars or so – work. They were pretty and very young from Estonia and a few Romanians. And our bad feelings are increased when we saw a girl kissing with her customer and 15 minutes later kissing with another. We saw two guys kissing before they took two girls in to the private..But the most horrific was the girl at the bar who got waisted on drinks (when I say drinks I mean coctails or glass of champagne, not bottles. It means she made maybe 2€ on each drinks) She was sitting on the guy's lap on a high bar chair, basically giving him a lap dance for free. And they were really into it. We felt like we are in a kind of cinema or peep show. Again I have to say but this is not my work style as it was not the girl's either. We were actually shocked. The whole place looked so cheap and “dirty”,against all the rules that the boss explained to me earlier. And the show just continued when our favourite couple at the bar were more and more into the moves and the guy stood up to press his crotch harder against the girl's butt, the chair felt on the floor and it was clearly visible that the girl's bikini bottom under the skirt was pulled to the side. Probably there were a good reason for this, everyone can imagine by his/her own fantasy.
We already decided to leave and not finish our contract. I can't compeer with girls who work in this way. And not long after we agreed to move on, the police has appeared to check the place out. The police officer asked our passport and I think that was our luck. We had to tell him that the boss took our passports, they called to question him. I didn't understand their conversation but it seemed the boss was in trouble because of that. Soon he appeared with our passports and gave them back to us. He didn't look happy at all. And after the police left, he told us he doesn't want us to stay because we only cause problems to him! (We were quite happy because we didn't need to gather all our courage to tell him we want to leave.) I can't say bad because he also gave us our one day salary with our passports. At least in that way he was correct. But we definitely didn't want to stay because we had the feeling that much goes on there than dancing. Maybe he just needed some professional dancer to cover his real business. Later I told the story to a friend of mine and he said “Yes, you were lucky because there are some rumours about that club that some girls were locked in a room there to force for prostitution”. Seeing the place and the boss, I can imagine...

I'm telling this story because lately I got emails that I have a funny and glamorous job. No. It's not always fun. Apparently it can be dangerous sometimes.

Friday, 7 November 2014

Is there Life after stripping?

Well, I really hope so as I'm not planning to shake my tities in my fifties. I've already heard a few comments like “you are too old for this”. But who decides when a stripper must quit from this lifestyle? It depends on her and only on her. I've seen older women – I mean much older than me – still beautiful, smiling and entertaining all night. And they still enjoy! That's her whole life! One of my boss and owner of a strip club told me these girls need attention constantly. It's their drugs. Without the stage, the spotlights and being in a centre of attention they are lost. I agree with him although I never had this addiction. As I spend more time in this industry, I enjoy less being on the stage and more the intelligent conversations with different people.
I also heard from customers that in that age I should concentrate on my carrier in a normal day job and cooking Sunday roast to my husband and kids. This is only a stereotype. Actually I'm very happy that I don't have kids. For me travelling the world and teasing men it's not expectable if you have a baby at home. I've seen lots of girls crying because they are away from their babies. In South Africa I worked with a Brazilian girl who was still breastfeeding, and the baby was in Brazil. For me this is a big NO! And I always answer to these guys, I don't want a baby. They look at me surprisingly. But it's true. I don't want only a baby. I want a family. The whole package. Husband, kids, home, garden, a dog, a cat and a goldfish. I know you smile, but I still won't be happy as a single mum with a crying baby doing night shifts.
Lots of girls are waiting for their Prince Charming to ride up in his white BMW, rescue them from the club and ensure them a secure lifestyle. (Mine got lost somewhere on his way!) They want to be taken away from this job and working for a living. They want to live in a big house with housekeeper and driver. But we know from fairy tales that sooner or later there will be a witch or the mean stepmother (a new lover or the ex wife). Some of my friends found true love during working in night clubs and I'm happy for them. They settled down in foreign countries, getting engaged or having babies. Most of all, they are happy. Ah I know where is my Prince Charming! He has such a big heart, he sold his beautiful white horse to buy me a ring! Now he's riding a donkey and poor animal is just so slow.. :)
Seriously talking, after six years of being a lady of the night, I decided to step out to the daylight. I started this blog almost a year ago. I never thought but I really enjoy writing it. And checking the statistics I'm surprised that so many people follow and send me emails with lots of questions and saying “What a refreshing and interesting blog! I think a stripper who studies Japanese and know psychology should be deserving of every guy's interest.” Last week I got an email from a university student and she asked me if I would help her writing her dissertation about lap-dance experience. I'm happy to help and also that not only men read my blog.
But my final goal is – to be honest – to write a book. I have the whole concept in my head but it takes time. So now I try to work less at night and focus on writing daytime. At least it keeps me busy and entertained until my Prince Charming arrives on his donkey.

Saturday, 1 November 2014

Yakuzas in Japan

My favourite question about Japan: Have you ever seen any yakuza there? You won't believe how many people are asking me that if I mention I was working in Japan or by email when they read my articles here. Funny, but Japan is not all about yakuzas..
But answering the question: yes, I met a few. If you've been in Japan probably you met them too as you can't see the difference between a well-dressed yakuza and an average business man. They don't like to show off. You can easily pass him on the street without knowing. They even hide their tattoos on public places as they don't want you to know. Not like some western gangsters that put all the signals on themselves showing they are the tough guys. They came often in the club I worked. Not a big deal, they never spent on girls just talked about their own business. And you don't want to interrupt.. specially when the guy has some missing fingers! (Cutting the finger means punishment or apology amongst them.) I had this customer once. I didn't even want to know his name..
But not all of them are bad. (Unless you mess up with them.) Once we were sitting at the table, 3 yakuzas, me and other 2 Russian girls. One of the girls speak good Japanese, they were talking, my customer didn't speak English and my Japanese was not enough to communicate so I just pored his drinks and smile. They ordered drinks for us too. I lifted up my glass to say Kampai! (not even an English cheers!) and the Japanese speaker Russian girl just looked me in the eyes, she said Kampai! to her customer but nothing to me. I found it absolutely disrespectful! If we are not in Japan and I don't need to behave myself that much, I swear of God I would have thrown my glass to her face! (I think that was the moment when I decided f*** Japan, I'm going home!) But I'm a tough girl too. Without a slip I put back my glass onto the table and I decided not to touch it. I just watched how the ice is melting in my gin&tonic. It was awkward when the girls finished their drinks and my glass was still full so they couldn't order the next round. The same Russian girl gave the look to finish my drink but I didn't care. I didn't say a word just smiled but my face expression told her everything. She's already screw this up with me. When the customers left, she didn't say anything (actually I was ready to hear all the complains to Mama san about me) The funny thing, after 1 or 2 days the same group came back. The yakuza The Russian girl was sitting with requested me this time. All the time he asked me if I'm okay, he ordered the drink without asking and even bought food for us. And I thought he was unaware of the situation! I felt his sympathy although he never asked what was going on between me and the Russian girl.
My other experience was not so friendly. We had 2 customers and me and another girl were sent to the table to look after them. You have to know about Japanese hostess clubs (even normal clubs and restaurants) there is not enough place between the tables. The other girl sat on the edge of the sofa and I had to go to sit with this guy through a very narrow place between the two tables. We just introduced ourselves when 3 young guys run into the club and started to hit my customer. The other girl and all the staff run into the kitchen and they were screaming at me to go there too. But I quickly analysed the situation, if I stand up wearing high heels and try to get out from the table through that narrow place I'm sure I would have gotten a punch in my pretty face too by accident. I decided to curl up on the sofa and protected my head and face from the flying object around (glasses, bottles, glass pieces) I was not their target anyway.
One more yakuza arrived (he was the boss of the other 3 as anybody could see) He had a charisma. Didn't talk much but he gave the order to the youngs to take the guy outside and not to make mess inside the club. Obviously they continued beating him up outside but it was not our business any more. We just quickly cleaned up the mess what they left behind. 
So yes, I met yakuzas in Japan. Indeed I slept with one. But this is another story..

Friday, 31 October 2014

Happy Halloween! Boo hoo!

Hm, I think this year I will skip all these Halloween madness as I go back from Paris to London earlier as I planned. Just in case I brought my sexy nurse costume with me to dress up but I don't feel the need of a crazy Halloween party. I have had it enough. When I was working in London it was always a big deal, we were talking about costumes and make-ups and decoration even a month before. I'm sure for clubs it's a very good business every year because everyone likes to dress up and being abnormal for a night.
We don't celebrate Halloween in my country. We have All Saint's Day on 1st of November according to the Catholic tradition. It's a "fundamental belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and the living" this day so we remember our beloved ones who died and we go to the cemeteries to lit a candle for their soul. If you cross the country by night and you pass a cemetery this time, it's beautiful with all those hundreds of little lights in the dark. And I have someone to remember: my grandma passed away this year while I was in Japan and I felt pretty bad that I couldn't come back for the funeral. So at least this day I want to show my respect to her. If I would have a chance I go to the Sacre Coure but I try to find a quiet corner and lit the candle. This year for me the Halloween definitely not about scary masks and fake blood all over.
Last year I had an awful Halloween party at work. I was in Macau that time. They made it nice with Bloody Mary welcome drinks and costume competition; some girls had an amazing look! Me, I've done the hardcore party at work on the previous night. I was drinking champagne from the bottle, it was great fun and I got so so drunk! Unbelievable how much Chinese can drink and how much they enjoy to make the girls drunk! But on the 31st I was not able to get out the bed. I made a joke that for Halloween I'm going to be a zombie, I don't even need make-up! I was creepy enough when I looked in the mirror.
I called the manager to ask him to stay at home but he said "Come on, Lindsay, it's Halloween party, I need all the girls on the floor!" Great. I have no idea how but I collected all my energy and I made it to work. Well, not the perfectly done Sugar Skull make-up that I planned to pain on my face.. On my way at work I popped into a shop and I bought some green and orange T-shirts, cut them in pieces, I draw a face on the orange one and I was the Jack(queline) O' Lantern. That was all my availability and creativity for that night. But I really wasn't well. I had to ask the DJ to call another girl on stage and I run to the toilette. I was so sick. It was not the most memorable Halloween party in  my life for sure!
But all can be very special with a good decoration and little ideas that bring more customers to celebrate the Halloween in a strip club rather than just in a normal night club. All those sexy devils and nurses are waiting for you tonight! So don't be scared! Maybe some horny vampire would suck your.... uhumm... blood! :)

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Dealing with rejection

In our job every stripper knows (indeed every sales person knows) that a NO doesn't mean to reject you, only the product or the service you offer. But in practise it's difficult to deal with. 1 NO is okay, 2 NO is okay, 3-4 and you start to feel down, 5-6 or more and you end up sitting in the corner questioning yourself “What's wrong with me?” or worst, crying in the toilette or in the changing room. Here in Paris I've seen it a lot. Beautiful girls wondering “What's wrong tonight? Nobody wants me..” I don't want to repeat myself but French customers (or even foreigners) here can give a real hard time to the girls being ridiculously rude and ignorant.
It happened last night that I found one of the prettiest girl, who has a 100 carats smile on stage when she's dancing, in a changing room crying. Because she felt useless in the club. Because she didn't make money. (But it never about only the money.) I just went to her and gave her a hug. We are all far from our family, from our friends, the customers are assholes, the girls are bitches, all we need sometimes some emotional support that we are not alone. Fuck all the practical advice that “you have to leave your emotions at the front door when you come to work, you have to be like a robot etc.” We all know that. (Although I don't want to be a robot, I would rather cry in the changing room but still happy that I have feelings.) She didn't need to hear that again and again, her brain already knows that. She just needed a hug. (I hope, dear men you listen very well!!!) I hugged her. Because I know the feeling, I have been in the same situation not only once and I got a hug from another girl. I would just encourage the other dancers if they see a colleague crying, give her a few encouraging words and a big hug (and some tissues) It can make a huge difference! This girl after was smiling again and she could make her money. And she was telling me “Oh you are so nice!” Not because I'm nice. Because I do CARE!
This job is purely about luck. Sometimes I feel good, I feel sexy, smiling and still can't make money. That's it. It's not my day. I had Friday nights in a full club where everyone made money, me was sitting on the sofa all night. Every single guys I tried to talk to, said NO to me. Some days like that. A few idiots came to me saying “you are the hottest girl in the room, why are you sitting here alone?” Because I want to be alone right now, when everyone else is drunk and I'm the only sober person in the whole club, you want me to entertain you? Why didn't come to me in the beginning of the night when I was in the mood for drinking??? Now I need lots of alcohol in short time to get to your level and we're closing soon, so no, thank you. I'd rather sit here alone and watch how you guys get wasted and hilariously stupid. I swear, it's better than a cinema!
It's strange but I also noticed that in a few days before and during my period I don't work well. I don't know why. One idiot gave me the most logical answer: “maybe your pussy smells!” Hahaha. I thought I'm just gonna slap him. In the XXI. century with all those intim hygienical tissues, creams and shower gels it's not a case. It's more likely to be linked to my emotional level and my body gives out the signals. In this time I can't take any rejection seriously. I'm prepared for that.
Another days I'm just lucky. It happened before that 2am everyone was drunk and having fun and I didn't make a penny. I already gave up on that night. I was sitting at the edge of the bar waiting to go home. Suddenly a guy arrived and he came straight to me. “Hello, I'm Pierre. Would you like some champagne?” Oh yes please! Bring it to me! Without asking me he ordered an expensive bottle. He was absolutely nice, easy-going, chilled out guy and we had a great time. I had maybe 4 dances with him. Then he saw a girl that he knew for before so I invited that girl to our table. We had 1 or 2 more bottles of champagne and we ended up having 18 dances each! That was a good night for me although it didn't seem to happen at the beginning.

And I have a book recommendation at the end: FUCK IT: The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John. C. Parkin. It's a very good book about how to deal with situations in our life simply just say fuck it to the problems and let them go. It's a must-read!

Monday, 20 October 2014

From Paris With Love

Eiffel tower, Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elysees. It's a beautiful city although I have to confess it's not my favourite. Or maybe just because I always arrived at the Gare du Nord – if I come from London by Eurostar – and it doesn't give the best first impression of Paris. That area is just so dirty and dodgy, specially by night. But the dancers apartment is in the centre, just 10 minutes walk from the Arc de Triomphe and the building is quite quiet. Luckily.

The work is okay. I already know that my perfect place where I'd like to stay longer doesn't exist. Here the club is renewed, beautiful and shiny. All well designed. One of the prettiest interior of clubs I've ever worked. The staff is nice. The girls are nice too. No pressure on girls at work, everyone works in her own tempo. The apartment is okay. Quiet, not so crowded and the cleanness is all right. I have only problems with customers. So unfriendly, so cold! And they don't want to spend money. I'm a bit surprised because by my experience French guys like me. But here they even feel offended if I ask for a dance. For f*** sake, relax, I'm just doing my job!

Like yesterday: we had 6 guys at the table. They bought a bottle of drink for themselves but they drunk very slowly. All of them was on their mobile phone. I even made a joke that we should open an Internet cafe rather than a strip club. They didn't even watch the stage show, just took a few photos (which is prohibited) and posted on their Facebook, whatsapp etc. I saw because I was sitting behind them. And they even felt offended when a girl went over trying to sell a dance. They were quite rude actually. But guys, can you explain me something? If I want to buy a new pair of shoes, I go to the shoe shop. You come to a strip club because you're interested in girls. So don't make faces when a pretty lady tries to communicate with you. Or go home to watch TV instead! I never understand this behaviour. Here I make money only after the dances. No drink commission. (Oh, my liver is very happy!) Some beautiful, experienced girls sit with a guy and make jokes and smile for hours to get a table dance. That means €11 for the dancer. (!) Tips are very rare. So show a little respect! Because this is not what some guys think when they say “You have an easy job. Easy money. You just have to be beautiful.” Really? And definitely don't complain that the girls look so unhappy if you behave like a douchebag with them.

But some happy moments happened to me since I'm here. First night I arrived, I posted a photo of the Arc de Triomphe on my Instagram. And a guy that I know from Guadeloupe sent me a message. He is a professional photographer there but we never met in person as he broke his arm when we had the photo shooting arranged. And guess what? He is in Paris too! So yesterday we met for a coffee.. That's what I like about travelling. I'm from London, he's from Guadeloupe and we meet in Paris! The same happened to me when I was in Macau. I know a guy from Hong Kong and we met in South Africa when I was working there. And after 2 years we met again just like good friends that they saw each other last just a few days before. I like the feeling that in any country I go on this planet I know someone there. That's amazing!

Also I know a Spanish girl from Guadeloupe (it seems Guadeloupe is the centre of my world right now) We were not close friends there but we keep in touch via Facebook time by time. And I sent her a message that there is one girl here looks exactly like her, same face, same hairstyle and that girls reminds me of her so much. And she wrote me back: “That's my sister!” And she's coming here too in 10 days, so we will work together again for a short term. So funny! I think our planet is really such a small one.. Now me and her sister are waiting for her in Paris.

And I have the feeling that this place has even more surprise for me! Maybe not every road leads to Rome but to Paris! :)

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

When airports give you extra excitement

Yesterday I arrived at Paris. I passed the passport control, just needed to get my suitcase and let's go to work. Bags are coming. You know the strange feeling when there are less and less bags on the convayour belt but you're still waiting for yours. Waiting... and waiting. Meanwhile I had lots of thing in my head. I think you realise you travel a lot when you have more problems at the airports with missing bags, delayed or cancelled flights. Well, this year I had enough..
Some it was my mistake. Just like when I went to Iceland. I planned everything just like first time I travelled there, called a taxi, Gatwick Express etc.. I was perfectly on time at Gatwick but I didn't see my flight to be shown on the board. I was still not aware of the situation. I even went to complain to the desk and the lady told me “Don't worry, the check-in will be open soon.” OK, I thought I check my emails until so I wanted to connect to the airport Wifi. I don't remember so well, but I think it asked my flight number for the Internet or something that again I didn't find on the list.. that's strange! And in a minute I realised that s***, I'm on perfect time but on the wrong airport!!! My flight is from Heathrow! That's happening when you do everything from routine. First time I had the flight from Gatwick indeed and now I didn't even think or check everything properly. I was laughing on myself badly! I don't know how I could manage to get to Heathrow but I was there before the flight took off. (If you know the distance between the 2 airports and the traffic in London you know, if not, trust me, that was a miracle.) And if I wouldn't have had the suitcase that needs to be checked in, they could just let me go through the gates. The security guy apologised hundred times, but I couldn't be angry because it was my stupidity. I just smiled at him and booked a new ticket for the next day.

I was not so lucky leaving Japan either. I changed the date of my return flight once online, they charged me extra for that, and then I quit from the club so I needed to change it again. I called the BA, the lady was very helpful and explained me that they would charge me again for the changing plus I have to pay the difference between the price of the flights. OK, this is the price of the service. But then I checked the tickets, and the one-way return ticket from Tokyo to London cost 1000£ more than I paid for the original ticket! No way, I chose to buy a new ticket with other airline and cancelled this booking. I wrote an email to claim for the refund. I got answer weeks later: BA was lovely to give me a refund of 40 pence! For a second I thought it's a kinda joke but they were serious and send it to my bank account. I think the whole bank transaction cost more than that 40pence... Again, I was just laughing on them.

Some other situation was not so funny. Once I flew back to London from Geneva and we had to land in Paris for technical reason. We were waiting on the plane while technicians came and checked the doors and the vacuum in the aircraft. Hours later the pilot was apologising that we couldn't take off, but they couldn't fix the problem and didn't want to take a risk as “We flew with a half-broken flight to Paris..” But they give us food and hotel rooms for a night. Lots of people got angry because they missed the flight connection but I felt quite happy that they didn't want to take this kind of risk.

But the most unforgettable story was in Belgium. Me and my friend finished the work on 23rd of December and we wanted to get home for Christmas. On the way at the airport started snowing. We thought it's gonna be OK as flights take off in snow, so no problem. But it became a heavy snow and the road was slippery, the driver couldn't go fast. The timing was already very bad and we were sitting in the car in tense, none of us wanted to miss that flight. I think we arrived at the airport in the very last minute. We were running to the check-in but what a surprise! It was still a huge queue before us. The airline company couldn't decide if the plane take off or not but they let us checking-in and wait on the plane. We were waiting there for hours still hoping that we go home on that day. Suddenly my friend poked my shoulder “Look!” We saw from the window that people were getting off from the plane next to us. That was not a good sign! Shortly after the pilot told us the get off too. There were no plane from that airport that night, all flight were cancelled. (If you remember that was a few years back when the same happened in Paris and lots of flight were cancelled and airports were closed because of heavy snow in Europe.) We stucked at the airport. It was cold, no food, and we didn't sleep all night. They actually closed the whole airport for the night, only one pub decided to stay open and serve the people at least with alcohol to keep us warm and later the Red Cross came to give us hot tea and coffees. That was not the night I cry for in my life. But sure I will never forget. Since then if someone sings the White Christmas, this is the first thing that comes to my mind.

There were just so many people and there were not enough replacement buses or places in hotels nearby. We put on all our warm clothes and waiting for the snow to stop. That was almost in the morning when we got a crazy taxi driver who drove us in the snowfall through Bruxelles. We decided to try the International airport. Charleroi is a smaller airport, we thought if there are flights in the morning they must be from the International airport as they start to clean the bigger airports first. We were right and at least they had the Starbuck's open! But we needed to book new tickets and the queue was already huge front of the ticket office before opening. When we finally got to the desk, we didn't think when the lady told us the price. We just paid. This story has a happy ending as we both were at the Christmas dinner with our family in that year.. Luckily.

Just as my story today. My luggage finally arrived. They said it was some mistakes, they couldn't find them (as I was not the only one with missing bags). So a bit later, but arrived. Now I'm sitting in the apartment with all my stuff with me. (I don't know what to do if they say by mistake my luggage with all the stripper costumes landed let's say somewhere in Chicago.) But now I'm relaxed. At the end everything goes well.

So if you are about to travel anywhere in the World: I wish you a safe trip!

Friday, 10 October 2014

To my dear A.,

I'm writing here an open letter to say thank you for your wonderful friendship. We are in a different part of the World, our paths are not crossing often, but you are always in my heart. I'd like to say a big thank you for all your support, either way it was financial or emotional. There were hard and difficult times in my Life and I will never forget that you gave me a helping hand to get over with. I also say thank you for all your advice. I'm a bit stubborn sometimes to listen anybody else but myself and I apologise if I did not follow them. But often they showed me the path I need to start walk on and move forward.
You were with me almost from the beginning since I work in the night. You've seen me happy and sad, angry and disappointed, sometimes drunk. Thank you for listening all my complains about other girls, my bosses and my crazy stories about stupid situations.
I'm saying thank you again for all your presents. For the chocolates and perfumes, little jewelleries every time we met. Even the little things make big difference. We were not in a romantic relationship, but you always paid attention to make me feel special. Thank you being so generous to me all the time.
And thank you for the best birthday present I've ever got in my life! Since I started to travel, the camera is always with me. You helped me to take all those beautiful pictures I took along my trips. You made it all possible to me. It's like a part of you always with me when I climb a rock or wait for the sunset. I ensure you I use that camera at my very best knowledge.
I write this letter because since I started this blog, I have lots of old memories coming up. And you were my best customer ever who became a friend. And I'm writing you this letter here because I want to show to others that we strippers not only golddiggers. We can say thank you and we mean it when you treat us as a woman not like a piece of meat. We also can appreciate the money that the guys spend on us. And friendship between a dancer and her customer does exist!

Dear A., your friendship always means a lot to me!

Wish you all the best in Life and God bless you!

Lots of love,


Wednesday, 8 October 2014

London makes you lazy

I saw this advert on the Picadilly line today "Don't cook, just eat!" That was an online takeaway ad. I do takeaways or fast food sometimes when I'm on the go or I arrive home after a trip and there is no food in my fridge and that time everything is closed. OK, sometimes I'm so lazy to cook and that's the easier way to pick up the phone and order.
But where is the pleasure of cooking? It's OK to be lazy and just concentrate on the needs of the body. No effort. (Hopefully you can lift up the fork alone and not lazy to eat.) But I go further. Fast food, fast sex. Have you ever thought about why are so many escort agencies in London? (or any big cities?) Hm? No effort. You don't need to play by the rules, you don't need to buy flowers and bonbons etc. just pick up the phone and order a girl. 
In relationships are no real commitments. In overpopulated places a new, a better one always can cross your way. I had a French customer, he lived in London quite long time before he moved back to Paris. And we discussed this several times. He said Paris as a capital still support relationships more, but London not at all. You are always ready to leave. So many temptations! You have one feet in the relationship, but the other one is always ready to run away just because that bustie blondie gave you a smile on the corner. And it's not only true about guys, girls are the same. Simply there are plenty of fish in the sea.. But everyone dream about a long lasting relationship, where you are mine and I am yours, it just seems we can't make a 100% sure clear decision to be with that person. Because what if? And this is not a way of an adult. When you are a teenage boy or girl, it's OK, you have to go through different situations to learn your lessons. But I meet often guys in their fourties who think in the same way. 
My favourite is the "married but looking" category. Looking for what? A big bang on your head from your wife when she finds out you're advertising yourself that way on a dating website? The open relationship is more fair when both part can look for pleasure outside of the relationship. But I guess the married but looking guy would be very offended if someone fucks his wife while he's on a business trip.
It sometimes makes me laugh and sometimes sad. I know that urge for looking for something new it's always there until there are other options. Like "Shall I go for the chicken curry or the pesto pasta salad?" Our community says you can have today this, tomorrow that. Just like ordering from the menu without any effort. But once you got your meal, stop looking at the next table what they are having!