"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Friday, 10 January 2014

Happy 2014 to all!

I hope this year brings lots of new people, adventure and travel into my life just like the previous one..

Someone asked me a good question: what is my goal with writing this blog? I would just simply say to share experience. Nothing else really. I don't have journalist skills and as you can notice I don't write on my mother language (I apologize ahead for all the mistakes I make here) but I gained a big experience with men over the past 5 years. And some was really a jawdropping one..

I know men and women are different. Different way of thinking and different needs. And when I say I understand that, I really mean it. I'm not a nagging and yelling type of girl, and if my guy needs space, I give it to him. I'm not making problems over a few beers with colleagues after work or getting easily jealous. I understand the different problem-solving technics and I'm there for support but not asking every minute what's wrong and try to talk about it. And I don't even remember when I asked a guy “do you still love me?” I can say the guy with me can feel he won the jackpot.

And I'm still single. I don't know, maybe it's just about luck, but I feel I always met the wrong type. Of course, I've read about all the expectations, that you will get what you give, follow your heart and the Universe helps you to achieve your desires and so on, but I've been in some very awkward situations lately. And the point I still can't understand, why women are reading thousands of self-help books to make her relationships better, while men are more and more lazy to take their part of this. Some can be a real jerk even with a stripper (how do they behave with their girlfriends/wives then?) For example: I had a customer an other day here in Luxembourg. He was nice, he usually spend some time in London so he asked me out when next time we are both there. I thought why not, I give him a chance and I gave him my number.. Than he said he go to the toilette, and he just disappeared. Without even saying Goodbye. It's OK, I thought maybe he changed his mind or whatever. I forgot about the situation. But after a few days, he sent me a text! “Hello Lindsay, how have you been? This is Daniel. I'd love to take you out tonight for dinner and wine. Can you make it by 8pm? Daniel :)” This time he was already in London, I was still in Luxembourg. And I wouldn't have been surprised, but I told him I go back only in 2 weeks time. I'm wondering did he really heard what I was saying to him???? “I'm working tonight from 8pm in the club” I hoped he realise I'm still in Luxembourg. I also told him I don't work in London.. “Hello :) would you like we meet over drinks and we spend the evening together when you're done from work tonight? I'm staying at the Four Season hotel in Park Lane. Where are you based in London?” That's it. I started to be angry. Not about spending the night in a hotel with a total stranger (this kind of offers I get very often) but the lack of the minimum attention and respect to somebody he wants to spend a night with and obviously expecting an incredible amazing sex affair. “Man, didn't you understand that I'm in Luxembourg til mid January??????” That point I didn't even want to be nice... “I was last Friday in Luxembourg. Btw, cannot you be more polite with manners when you type? You seem very aggressive not relaxed type!” I just started to laugh. I couldn't believe my eyes... First I know that he was in Luxembourg as we met here last Friday. I remember very well. I can't be that drunk to forget which city or country I am. And I'm the one who is not polite here???? And he feels he has the right judging my way of typing or behaviour? Pfff, please.. He was wrong. I wasn't aggressive but extremely shocked. After he said he's going to the washroom and disappeared, he really thought that I want to meet up with him again? End of story. No more messages. But the whole situation made me think.

Gentlemen, even if you want nothing else just a quick sex with a girl from a bar (any bar, not necessary a strip club) do you listen to her at all? I don't mean when she tells you the name of her sister's dog, but basic information like how long she stays in the city? And in my opinion when you arrange a dinner with someone, that's a date. So when you want to date with that girl later, you don't even care to impress her? I know this guy was a very bad example. Thank God, I've met the opposite type more often. But unfortunately, I have no doubts that he's not the only one out there who urgently needs further educations about how to impress a woman. And I also have no doubts that there are girls that they don't need more just to show them a few banknotes and they are ready to do anything to you, but I'm not talking about these cases.

Or another guy from yesterday. I just mentioned him I did 5 years belly dance at back home.
“Oh ballet, great, I danced too!”
“No, I said belly dance..”
“Yes, ballet is good. Was there any famous ballet group in your city? Like Russian ballet?”
“Sweetie, I'm talking about Egyptian tribal belly dance!”
“Did you do jive as well?”
I decided it's wiser to be quiet and just smile. End of the day he's paying the champagne I drink. And I know the term ballet and belly sound similar and it's easy to misunderstand with a loud music background, but I'm just wondering did he really hear when I corrected him? Twice?

I started to believe that we have some major communication problems here. Usually women talk and men listen. But men don't listen at all! And they are surprised if we get upset. It's really not a good point if you expect something later on from that woman. Just like the second guy, he asked if I would give him my number and keep in touch. No, it doesn't work in this way..! So please Gentlemen, pay more attention to that pretty girl next to you at the bar that you want to date with, to your girlfriend and to you wife, and your life will be much smoother and you will hear less complain.

2 comments:

  1. Lindsay,
    I`m pleased to know you and i read you Story. It`s no easy for me always
    listen to you with Attention because i beginning to dream of you during by your talking...
    Ides

    ReplyDelete