"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

The Little House of Fetish

I can not call myself a prude woman. I had boyfriend before that he loved me wearing stockings in bed. I didn't find it difficult, if that makes him happy, why not. As I'm doing fetish modelling these kind of desires are not unknown for me. And I don't know why but I noticed lately that guys with secret fantasies sooner or later open up for me and telling me or their dirty secrets. And I love those private dances when my customer only wants to give me foot massage or lick the heels of my shoes! But experience something extreme in private life, it's a different story..
First I was dating a guy and he liked the glossy, shiny hold ups on me. For every date we had he arrived with a pair of black stockings. He knows I love the vintage style Agent Provocateur ones (I already have a whole collection of them) So we were dating for a while but one night after having sex he turned to me saying: “Honey, I love your legs in these stockings. But what if next time I'm gonna wear them?”
End of story. I didn't know if I should have been embarrassed or laugh out loudly. I had no words to him just went to the bathroom because I couldn't hide my surprised face. Obviously that was our last date. Can you imagine a big, masculine guy asking you wearing your tights? I know in this century we shouldn't be surprised at all, but the personal experience is more intense and you really don't want something like that from a guy who anyway could be a long term partner or the father of your child..
In the second situation I was more brave and curious (and let's say more tipsy). I had a customer that I had a good time with, we were laughing a lot and opened the bottle of champagne one after another. Suddenly he just gave me his whisky glass.
“I want you to pee in it!”
Probably the alcohol I drunk previously made the effect on me that I was not surprised.
“OK, I do but only if you drink it!”
It's definitely not something I do often. But that was one of the situations in my life when I chose to go beyond my limits. And he was only a customer I've seen first time (and last time), I mean there were no emotions attached. So I did it for him. He drunk it with no face expression just like he'd drink his whisky. He only asked some ice to put in. OK, this is also something we know it exists, no surprise here. But such a big difference in person than just to hear about it.
The third one was the weirdest I can say although I don't know if I should mention it on a same page with fetish. All my readers can decide about it.. (I'd love to know what Freud would comment!) I met this guy. He was one of the kindest type that I don't meet quite often and somehow I felt good with him from the beginning. But he had this tiny little thing: a small dog. I had boyfriends with dogs before and after him but it was something I've never seen. First when she (you read it well, SHE!) started to humping on his arm, I did not pay attention to it. Nature has its funny ways to express itself. But later on I realised that is kinda part of the daily routine: feeding the dog, playing with the dog, make the dog cum... Yuck! When I asked how he knows that she has an orgasm, he said “Her pussy is moving just like yours.” (I felt sort of offended that my pussy has been compared to a dogs.)
Later I tried to tell him that I don't think this is a healthy way of living with a dog, but his answer was “it's normal, you can check it on Youtube, there are lots of videos” Yes, but the normal reaction from guys is laughing on it, make a video because it's strange or simply just tell the dog to “go away”. Not to mention not everything is normal what you can watch on Youtube.. I also googled it, but I had to stop educate myself in this subject when the 2nd or 3rd article was a step by step guide “how to train your dog to fuck you”
My mistake that I didn't say anything to him about how disguised I was. I just couldn't find the right words. It made me confused and I even questioned my own sexuality when after having sex with me he still wanted to please his dog. (As I noticed that he was the one who generated the whole game. I don't want to talk here about Pavlov, his dogs, the reflexes and that bell..) Because the dog taught him love. Excellent, so what I'm doing here? So next time when I'm single, feeling lonely and unloved, should I buy a horse??? I'm done. No more words. The rest is out of question..
But again, I learned something about myself. Since then I know I'm not able to love someone unconditionally, just the way he is. In theory it sounds beautiful, but good or not, I have my own conditions. And I think every healthy minded women would think in the same way..

(Overall I try not being judgemental here. It's not about put those guys on a black list. End of the day it is their life, their choice, their habits. But they helped me a lot to realise my own limitations and acceptances.)



2 comments:

  1. telling you the truth - every one has a habbit or fetish ...
    some admit to their partners - some just keep this as secret ...
    so you are a (un)lucky one getting know a glimpse to this ...

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    Replies
    1. Lucky or unlucky, I take it as experience.. In fact, talking about sexual habbits is part of my job. Some open up easier to a total stranger than to their own partners.

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