"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Laura's research into lapdance experienses 1.

I met a girl in Paris who told me she's studying on university and how she entered the whole glittery pinky stripper world was that she went interviewing a few dancers in a local club to write an essay and she started to like the atmoshere and decided to work in clubs afterwards. See, not every girl's doing it for money or because they have been forced to do so, but some also realise it's such a good job to learn about our own sexuality and express ourselves. So after talking to her I got an email from a lovely girl – let's call her Laura - who asked my help to write her dissertation. I am doing research for my dissertation, which is looking into the ways in which lap-dancing is empowering for women, but I also want to learn about the difficult parts of the industry! Basically I just want to give an honest story. I have never done lap-dancing before so I cannot write from my own experiences, and I came across your blog and it is so interesting! You seem very honest about your work and you seem to have travelled and worked in many countries.” I thought such a brave girl to write about this subject and I'm happy to help if it doesn't cost money so I said yes to her. And some of her questions are so intelligent and worth to write a whole post as an answer.



How did you feel when a customer breaks the rules and touches your intimate area when giving them a naked lap dance? “



When I read this question the stories started to come to my mind. But I'm telling you the best one. I was working in Toronto, Canada where the club had a totally unique system. The customers chose the girls from a photoalbum with the help of the bookers. Those guys were walking around with a huge album in their hands any anybody wanted to have a lapdance, they suggested the girl who suit the best for them. We girls, were not allowed to talk to customers, it was a sitting area for us or we could stay in the changing room (even for a quick nap). So because of that there was no previous agreement what I do in private and what I don't. It was a whole forum on an internet site about which girl is a giver in the club and it was so popular amongst the customers. If I find it, I will link it here because it was so funny and entertaining to read. So basically the guy who booked me for a dance, was never so sure what he can get from me.

Once I got booked by a young guy for 30 mins. He was around 20. We went down to the private area, I seated him and started to dance. Without asking or saying anything, he started to unbutton his jeans. I didn't say anything but gave him a bad look. He didn't get the signal – or didn't want to understand – and his hand slid down inside his trousers. I don't let the customers jerk themselves during my dance so I told him to stop. He said OK. And then I changed my position, I danced a bit facing the wall and when I turned back his willy was out and it was a huge grin on his face.

I told you not to do it!” (Jesus, this half an hour dance will be difficult!)

OK, OK! I apologise.. but a little bit?”

NO!”

But some really like testing the waters. I thought finally he got the message, I turned again to the wall. I bend over to take my panties off, when I saw him between my legs what he's doing. Of course, his trousers down on his hips and he was jerking. I really hate when I have to repeat myself again and again, and it seems this bloke was deaf or something not to hear what I was trying to say. I found a more effective way. I grabbed his beer from the small table where he put it, suddenly turned back and put it upside down into his trousers. The cold beer poured down on his erection and on his balls.

Now I hope you understand what I was saying to you!”

He immediately jumped from the sofa and called me on every name you can imagine. I gave him back his dance tokens and left.



Dear man, if the dancer says not to do it, it means NOT TO DO IT! Once I had to listen 30 mins lecture from my manager because my customer did the same when I danced showing my butt to him. My manager passed the curtains and she saw what's going on and interrupted the dance. I told her I'm wearing my eyes on the front and I can't see what he's doing behind my back but she thought I let him to do. Seriously I almost got fired just because the guy was not listening. Same with touching. In some clubs they are very strict about it and I can get in trouble if they see it on the security cameras. What? If there are security cameras??? Of course there are! Who would believe that there is no control what's going on in the VIP room? The clubs have to protect themselves if anything happen there..

But answering the question, it happened to me that the customer touched me in an inappropriate way – again I was showing my back to him and I did a sexy bend over. He thought it's funny if he touches me between my legs. As I felt his finger on my private area I turn back and suddenly gave him a huge slap on his face.

Never do it again!”

I'm so sorry.”

Get out!”

But I'm sorry. I won't do it again.”

Get the fuck out of here!!!”

I was cold as ice and he understood the fun is over and he left. After the security guy came to me asking why I finished the dance sooner. I told him what happened and he just shrug his shoulder. “Hm, OK.” Of course it was OK. It was no argument about paying back the dance or anything. Security can help to kick out an angry guy or step between the dancer and customer if it's necessary. But behind closed doors (or curtains) I'm in control. And I have to make sure that nothing happening there that can harm me. I remember working as a hostess. Once we had a beautiful girl who never worked in this field before. She got chosen by a “good” customer and the guy paid her champagne bottle after bottle. As it was her first night, she easily lost her limits. And the control. After she was crying in the toilette because the guy tried to finger her through her tights and panties and she felt violated. That was her first and last night.

That's MY body, I make the rules! I understand there are different clubs and in some clubs you can get more, I also understand that the temptation is big, but if the dancer says NO, it means NO. It's always better to ask than walking through the whole club with a wet pants and it looks you just peed yourself during the private dance.

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